The people I call friends and colleagues are some of my most treasured gifts.

The privilege to be able to call on the collective wisdom and care of this rich bevy of humans is something I’m not ever going to be worthy of – but I can be grateful. 

Last year, I sat on a plane and crossed the Atlantic with my father on one side of me and my husband on the other.  We’d spent a week together discovering Ireland. My heart was full from the sights, the sounds, the faces of Ireland, and my mind was on fire.

I opened my journal on the runway and my pen started moving.  A realization was firming up in my head and it was big.

Before landing back home, I’d discovered a terrifying truth that I would have to sit with.

“Every single utopian, pie-in-the-sky dream I had for Square Peg was not just possible, it was already being done – and done beautifully. The folks that were doing it were ready, willing and able  to help me make it a reality in the States.”

This means that there would be no more hiding behind the veil of “that’s nice, but impossible.”  It means, “not only is this possible – but your ideas are vital, effective and necessary. 

I’ll illustrate. 

What if you put someone with a severe anxiety condition, with obsessive or destructive behaviors  that render him otherwise unemployable and very high needs into a space of natural beauty and imbued that living space with a sense of freedom rather than in a restrictive, sterile “safe” space and suddenly, the personhood and dignity of that individual blooms and he is able to find meaningful ways to contribute to his community?  Sounds nice of course but what if you can prove that this saves the community funds, time and efforts while helping this person to achieve a sense of worth and use?

This is exactly what my friend David Doyle is doing in County Cork Ireland.  He knew he was right.  He’s a parent of a child that the rest of the world had written off as dangerous, disabled and vastly limited. He and his wife did not accept defeat for their daughter. He’s the administrator of municipal funds and knows exactly what the government is spending to sequester people like his daughter. He’s a horseman of the first order and knows the value of bringing  animals and a peaceful farm program together to create family memories. 

There’s more.

What if we look at all the studies for parent respite and understand the value of a family being able to recreate together to create healthier families and communities? The barrier is that it’s almost impossible to find qualified respite workers, homes and opportunities.  Well, if you are David Doyle, you rent an entire resort and bring 165 families on a vacation. I didn’t stutter – I said 165 FAMILIES!  He provided horses, swimming, all of the recreation you would find for “normal” families and he added two true Irish style pubs for the families to gather and sing and share in total understanding and acceptance. And guess what?  It was transformative. 

I’ll need to chew on that.

Not all heroes wear capes. 

I gotta get back to work. 

.

For  years Rupert and Rowan shared the saddle together on a horse named Betsy. The story of  Rowan opening  to the outside world through Betsy is told in the bestselling book and award winning film “The Horse Boy“.

With Rowan’s success,  Rupert started working with other children on the spectrum to see if what  worked with Rowan and Betsy would  work for them. While no method can ever be right for 100% of people  Rupert found a sufficiently high percentage of children benefited-sometimes  in astonishing ways.
The framework of techniques targets different  challenges.  Horse Boy™ and Movement Method are now being used worldwide. Don’t miss this fantastic opportunity!

Who should attend this clinic?

• Anyone interested in the healing power of horses
• Parents, therapists and counselors that are supporting autistic people.
• Dressage Riders looking for a fresh and beautiful perspective on riding and horses

Important note: This workshop is hands on and intense.  We cannot have you bring your child to the workshop.  It is our organizational ethic that when a child is here – especially one that needs some support – we focus all our energy on the child.  This workshop is to give you tools to help support those you love and care about – so this is our chance to focus on you. 

Training Overview 

• Introduction to Autism
• What our methods are. Why they are different?
• Necessary Equipment
• Sensory session with horses
• Collection – what it is and why it matters

• Intro to Back-riding training
• How to create the right environment for Horse Boy Method
• How to cope with children unwilling or afraid to ride
• Long-lines (working with young adults too large to back-ride)
• Rule based games / Perspective taking
• Academics on horseback: how to use the dressage arena and round pen for math, biology, geography and more!
• How to work with the entire family
• Basic trick work. Learning the aids, and demo of how tricks are used for communication

When: June 15 and 15, 2019 10am to 3pm

Where: Cadence Farm, Meadowlark Way, Sonoma,CA. (Just off Hwy 121)

Cost: Riders $675  Non Riders: $340. UPDATE: We’ve been approved to offer the following discount: $495 for Riders and $325 for non riders

Space is limited! use PayPal link below to secure your space.  If you prefer to pay by check, email joell@squarepegfoundation.org to reserve your spot.

Riding or Non-Riding

Rider $495.00 USDNon-rider $300.00 USD

“Sit well Joell”

Heeding these words, – a difficult move suddenly becomes easy and I feel elegant, organized and – able. 

There were no technical fixes in the instruction – more importantly, there is an assumption that my teacher assumes  I am capable.

She could have said:

“Don’t slouch”

“You are collapsing in your ribcage again”.

“You are sitting like an old lady”

….and all of these things would have been true and each of these things has been said to me before.  But instead she said;

“Sit well.”

And I did.

Consequently, I was successful. 

This makes me think about the true spirt of teaching and the nature of real support. 

I read a fascinating statement about the labels “high functioning” and “low functioning” as it relates to autism. 

“A high functioning label means that your struggles are ignored and and a low functioning label means that your strengths are ignored.”

Anyone in the autism field knows this reality and  the real work lies in finding real solutions.

“Sit well.”

Real support honors the struggles and the strengths of the learner and lets the learner develop a context for figuring things out and succeeding or failing the way to new discoveries. 

For example – a young man dearly wants social connection.  He wants peers and real friends. How would I best support him in developing this critical skill and very human need?

By honoring both his strengths and his struggles.

First and most important – I presume competence.  I need to have a clear picture in my mind of him being successful.  No pity – no doubts – just believing  he is capable.  This transfers to everything I might say or do, every phrase I choose and every gesture I make.   Next, I model friendship in every exchange we have.  He sees me being friendly, making and keeping friends.  And  we talk about the effort it takes because he might presume this is easy for me and impossible for him.

Then we find real connections for him with people who share his interests. 

In a nutshell, what we learned in  kindergarten turns out to be golden:

“If you want a good friend – be a good friend.”

Can it be that simple?

The other option – the one that doesn’t work is  to neither respect his struggles nor appreciate his strengths.  It looks like this:

“You never make eye contact and you need to learn  in order to make friends”

“You must say ‘hello’”

“Try to smile more – people like that.”

Once again, all of these things are true – and yet each statement illustrates that I don’t believe that he’s capable  and I don’t appreciate his unique struggles and I’m not interested in what he’s interested in. 

“Sit well Joell.”

We are deeply grateful to the horsemastership mentorship of Sofia Valenca and Goncalo Linhas of Lisbon Portugal.  Not only for your depth of horsemanship knowledge you so generously share, but more importantly, your faith in us and in our horses that we are elegant, capable and able. 

Here’s to great teachers – may we find them, treasure then and strive to be them. 

#TeamQuirky